I’m An Uncle!! (and I’m in China)

Thus far my five weeks in China have been an eye opening experience, and those experiences will be touched on later. For now though, on the inaugural post of my totally kick-ass weblog, I would like to announce the birth of my sister, Stacey’s, baby. A 5 lb. 11 oz. little boy named (are you ready for this?) Dominic Vincenzio Parlotto. Can you say future head of the Five Families? Anyway I’m now an uncle, and to celebrate the change in title some friends and I got drunk off a bottle of opium-laced cough syrup and watched Reign of Fire. Congratulations Stacey and Brian I’m overjoyed with this latest addition to our family and cannot wait to see pictures of the little capo. Everyone here in Hangzhou sends their best as well.

From here on out, this will be the place to go to find out what’s going on with me while I’m existing (I couldn’t call it ‘living’ because I suck too much) in China. Mom and Dad I apologize ahead of time (Carl just farted up my snoot) but I will be profane so let’s just get this out of the way now: Shit! Fuck! Cock! Ass! Whore! Twat! Jism! Nuts! Cunt! CUNT! CUNT!!! BITCH! Douche Slut! Knuckle Fuckin’ Glue Sniffer! Pecker Snot! Cock Barf!

I love you mommy and daddy.