Well, my site, in all its vivacious infancy, has had its proverbial wings clipped before it was able to truly fly and “Go Where Eagles Dare.” The Sinosplice administrator who has preferred to have his identity remain anonymous (John Timothy Pasden) requested that I watch the content of my site, and make sure it doesn’t get too, “crazy,” or, “over the top.” So in adhering to his wishes as I would any of his wishes because his smile lights up my life the way a cuttlefish lights up the briny deep of the ocean I will for the remainder of my stay in China write only about my socks.

Going abroad for an extended period of time can be a frightening experience for anyone, especially when it is a culture and society so markedly different than your own (like China for instance.) You really start to cherish the little things from home, like all you can eat night at the Ground Round, and quality toilet paper that doesn’t let you down in the softness department. The worst part about embarking on a journey abroad is realizing you forgot something that you cannot get in your host country. I forgot quite a few things when I hastily packed two days prior to my departure (my Chinese textbooks, my CBGB’s shirt, my lupus medication etc. etc.) but one thing I remembered to pack and in great quantity was socks.

In China you walk a great deal. Even if you were affluent enough you probably wouldn’t want to choose to purchase a car and drive, because most roads (in Hangzhou at least) are not the safest around. Most people here don’t so much have an idea of how to operate a motor vehicle as much as they have an innate instinct to survive in what is, in essence, an asphalt simulacrum of Hawkin’s Chaos Theory. Add to this that most people here drive with the urgency of a sprinter on crystal meth-amphetamines you can understand that walking is probably the safest bet. Although motorists in Hangzhou won’t hesitate for a second to pull into a lane of oncoming traffic to try and bypass the line of cars in their own lane, they haven’t yet developed the audacity to drive on the side walks.

Since I’ve been here I’ve probably walked close to a million miles. My footwear has atrophied, but my socks remain strong. I came to China with the health of my feet on the forefront of my mind. Contained within my 90 pound uber-duffle, were no less than 32 pairs of socks. All less than a month old and top of the line. My everyday socks are 16 black pairs of Hanes all cotton athletic crew socks with reinforced toe and heel zones. I specified their color because black allows an effortless shift between standard sportswear and more formal ensembles. It is important to have a durable sock for all occasions. For more energy intensive outings such as hiking, soccer, and late night panty raids with Carl and Alf (which, for the parents out there, has never occured), I have 8 pairs of Wilson double soled crew socks that cushion the feet more effectively for high impact activities. The aformentioned socks have been greatly cherished by my feet but their quality pales in comparison to the two pairs of Prince all-pro tennis socks I brought with four times the heel, toe, and arch cushion of any other sock on the market! I almost need to go up a shoe size whenever I slip them on! Bar none the Prince all-pro tennis sock is the best sock I’ve ever worn. They have provided a soft yet durable support I have not experienced in any other foot-related under shoe garment. This is the sock I would wear if I ever decided to fight a yeti. I really can’t say enough about these socks. I could wear these socks on an all day excursion sloshing through the banks of the Yangtze and not only would my feet stay dry, but they’d actually smell better than before I went out. Cults and religions have been borne on less of a foundation than these socks. They are fantastic.

The remaining pairs of socks that found their way into my collection were brought more for their aesthetic qualities than functional qualities. Although they don’t hold a candle to my Prince socks they are much more pleasing to the eye. I usually wear them in combination with my handmade Italian leather walking shoes, or my leather Wolverine dress clogs with dura-shock sole technology (which is hands down the softest shoe I’ve ever had the pleasure of slipping on my tootsies but lets not get too crazy here, this entry’s about socks not shoes!)

All in all there are things I miss, things I regret having forgotten back home and it can be kind of disheartening…but you won’t hear my feet complaining! (I hate you John.)