Isn’t This a Sign of the Apocalypse?

Apparently there’s an outbreak of Bird Flu going around in Western China OR 8,000 birds collectively realized they live in Qinghai and killed themselves because Qinghai sucks. Either way, steer clear of Qinghai . That place blows, like Vincent Gallo’s The Brown Bunny blows (no pun intended). Holy Whisky-Swilling Christ, anybody who has endured that fucking flick deserves to not only get blown by Chloe Sevigny, but get to lay waste to Vincent Gallo’s penis and testicles with a meat tenderizing hammer whilst she do it. That movie made me want to barf up my life. I’d prefer a bout of Bird Flu over a second viewing of that soul-shatteringly bad movie. Seriously, I’ll make out with an infected pelican like a two-tongued Frenchman before I subject myself to that, “World’s Greatest Waste of Celluloid,” a second time. Nazi propaganda films were in contention for that World’s Greatest title and The Brown Bunny still came away with the crown. That’s right, The Brown Bunny is less palatable than Nazism. So in conclusion:

= BAD

=WORSE

In Case You Didn’t Already See This (or for some God awful reason visit my site for the news*)

On CNN.com they have a story on China’s plan to further restrict internet blogging and expression. You can check it out here: http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/internet/06/07/china.internet.reut/index.html

You know China, I’m having a party this Friday. If you don’t cool it up some I don’t think you’ll be invited. Only cool coutries get invited to my awesome parties. Like Cameroon, and the Federated States of Micronesia. Those guys know how to party. And Iceland. They’re pretty slick too.

United States of America you know the deal. No invite until Bush is out of office. Don’t act like you don’t care, I got girls coming to this shindig. And I’m working on a new shot that combines Jim Beam and instant oatmeal. I call it a “Sludge Hammer.”

*Who am I kidding? No one reads this site.